Friday, September 12, 2008

No. 4 ~Shakira ~

"The reason the U.S. hasn't bombed Columbia"
Double jointed hips.
Oh yes.
Double jointed hips can't lie.
Colombian drug lords put every iota of creative effort together that they could muster and created the ultimate weapon against the CIA. They call her: Shakira. It's a Colombian word meaning "screen of sex". Not unlike the ever popular and fearsome "Sex Bomb" dropped by the British Empire in Tom Jones pants in the 1960's, the Shakira phenomena is one that has successfully created a trifecta of pro-Colombian propaganda.
The first step was to create an effective wall around Colombian activities. No really, hormonally driven youth memorized by the highly captivating movements of Shakira's hips find themselves being drawn to the Colombian boarders where they are promptly kidnapped, and then used to create a wall on the boarder.
The second step involves a sophisticated process of smearing Shakira with mud. The long lasting effects of this process have yet to be discovered but they are no doubt deadly.
The third and most graphic step of the Shakira project involved setting her up with the Governor's son there by ensuring the drug cartel's hold on the country and their ability to use her lyrical talents to smear campaign the US government. Even now, hundreds of youth are watching Shakira and thinking "My god, if only I were Colombian."
Yes, well played Columbia. I admit, project "Spears" fell though where you seem to have succeeded.
Classified Propaganda Film:
"Hips Don't Lie"

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