Tuesday, October 14, 2008

No. 1 ~ Christina Aguilera


Christina Aguilera got robbed by that harpy Britney Spears. Here we have a powerful, articulate, sexy, edgy, dangerous woman with thoughts and a pair of pipes that could launch a thousand ships. Christina has walked the fringe of our musical generation and ranged the scale of style. From chirpy limericks with the Mouseketeers to the throbbing pool of sweat in "Dirrty" she has defined her medium.

And yet... the public endorses the mass of membranes and mediocre curves we call Britney. So America, this is the first shot. Remember while you sleep on beds of denial that we could have had a vocalist as the singer that defined our generation. Instead we chose the bottom of the barrel.

Christina, climb your way to the top of the Pop and feel proud atop that mountain. I set Christina Aguilera in the number one spot because quite frankly, she deserves it.

Grab Bag of Wonder:

Pick any of them, they're all good.









No. 2 ~ Stacie Orrico

"If you deny God he'll destroy your village, kill your children, flood the Earth, and take your record deal."

Seattle born and raised singer songwriter Stacie Orrico was on top of her game. At the tender age of 16 she was already a national phenomenon. Her albums were folksy, electric, and Christian. Her thematic bias was the promotion of God and his charity. Her message was just sexual enough to push her to the top of the charts with repressed Sunday schoolers, yet not to provocative as to have her excommunicated.

That is, until the fateful release of her hit "Stuck".

Stacie made the tactical error of singing a song about loving a boy and no where did she mention her love of God. With in two months her main constituents, the church going populace of America turned their backs on her. She was "secular now", and had "turned her back on God." While the remaining eleven tracks in the album were Sunday Service worthy her on ode to earthly love was enough to send her back the filthy streets of the common people. In that same year she lost her record deal and fell into a dark patch in her life.

For that brazen homage to her heart I proudly give her, her rightful position among the Pop Ten elite.

Bless your honest heart and Italian good looks Stacie.

The Fall of Man:


Monday, October 13, 2008

No. 3 ~ Tami Chynn

"The only thing other than disease, starvation, and slavery that the West brought to Jamaica"

Tami Chynn is the official hybridization of Jamaican rhythm and style with all the American packaging. Her progressive parentage has led this Jamaican native to discover her life as an ambassador of two worlds mingling in the medium of music, as is reflected in her noticeable vocal variations.

I would like to say that she has earned her spot as number 3 in the Pop Ten because she stood up and voiced her opinion, raised her talent as a protest against Western neglect of the islands, and was a staunch supported of women's rights.

Unfortunately she was entirely neglected by the mainstream music industry until she "made her voice more American".

Another point for Manifest Destiny... and another loss of dignity for us all.